Dream the POSSIBLE Dream!

The process of purging physically and emotionally can take its toll. 

Getting my life to fit ever tightly yet neatly, into a five foot by seven foot storage unit was tougher than I ever it could be.  After countless boxes and an inconceivable amount packing tape, I made it though what I hope to be my last time I'll have to pack up my home again.

But the process was a good one.  

After all the stuff is gone and my apartment was cleaned from top to bottom, I stood in the center of my emptied living room.  Giggles from children playing echo through out.  Its feels weird. I have no home.  I have no job.

It's the first time in my life I have ever been in this position.  I've never not had a job, but as scary as it was, it also felt kind of good.  To willingly accept the freedom that was just dropped in my lap took some adjusting.

It was the process of purging that helped me to understand that period in my life is pivotal. I've been given a gift, and it is crucial that I utilize it to the best of my ability. The days of daydreaming while sitting at my desk were over.  The time to bring my dreams to fruition is at hand.  Anything and everything I've ever wanted to do was now possible. There's more time for writing.  No need to wait for the next vacation to plan my next travel adventure. Working on my Spanish with total immersion was now a possibility. Food, wine and cooking classes could now be within reach.  It's time to make my list, and check it twice.  It's time to make my dreams a reality.

And if ever I needed a sign, I received my confirmation in the form my horoscope for the day:

"The vibrations of the day are really very beautiful! They are announcing a phase of stability and when you will be making your projects concrete. You have everything you need to see your professional and sentimental initiatives come to fruition. Think about it before taking them on because they may change your life and involve some commitments in the future."

Amazingly after a fabulous sushi dinner with a girlfriend, there's yet another confirmation in the form of a fortune cookie:

"Change is at hand! No need to worry, you"ll always have everything you need!"

They may be just a horoscope and a fortune cookie... but the it was all that I needed to move forward!

Letting the Sun Set...

So the closing took a lot longer than any one could ever have predicted.  After long hours of preparation to ensure smooth sailing, "D- Day" finally arrived on June 23, 2011.  It was a sad day.

To say good bye to the people who became family during my three year tenure in San Antonio was much more difficult than anyone anticipated.  It was one thing to know that this day would come, but it was another to actually face it. Not being able to have my morning coffee with my team on June 24th, was our new reality.  Change can sometimes be difficult to get used to.

And in the end, the job wasn't as "thank-less" as it had felt in the past.  Looking back on it now, it's easy to assume that countless hours of dedication appear to go unnoticed while working into the wee hours, or coming going in early.  But when the process goes smoothly, the numbers look better than they ever have, and residents, buyers and sellers alike are all happy... It's all the thanks you need.  You've given it your best, and have performed to the top of your abilities, your thanks arrive in the form of gratitude.  And yes, for this experience, I am grateful.

Waking up on June 24th, and not having a job to go to, felt a little weird.  On one hand, I was excited to start my new found freedom, but on the other the anxiety of not having a job for the first time ever was a bit unsettling.  I've held a job since I was 13 years old. I've always had a plan or a direction.  I've never not worked, and I didn't know what to do with this.

Perhaps this is GOD's way of saying that it is time to do a new thing?  One thing I do know... change is inevitable.  It's time to embrace change, while asking GOD to guide my steps and give that discerning ear to hear HIM.  I may not know what's in store...but whatever it is...it's gonna be good!